One of the things that I have found to be difficult since I have gotten married is to find time to talk to my husband. This isn’t because we have nothing to talk about, nor is it because we don’t want to talk to each other, but with everything that we constantly have going on (and that is not even counting all of the added distractions), communication seems to get tossed to the side.
In order to for us to communicate, we have to make the time and put in a little bit of effort! Here are 7 things that have worked to help us make time to communicate!
1.No phones in bed
We all have those hard days at work, or days when we come home and are absolutely exhausted. We claim that we are tired and can’t wait to go to bed. But once we’re in bed, there we are….. surfing the web on our phone.
If you make it a point to not allow your phones in bed, or to turn off the tv you might be watching, you’ll find that suddenly you have a lot more time to talk. It might be difficult at first, but it is definitely something that is worth it!
2.Make it a point to eat together
This is a no-brainer. Nothing brings people together like food! I know that sometimes this is such a hard thing to do because of crazy schedules. There have been times where we find ourselves eating dinner at 9 because that is the only time we have!
But, try to eat at least one meal together. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, or even share a small snack! While you’re relaxing and eating, you’ll have time to talk!
3.Turn your phones off while you’re eating
Very closely tied to number 2 is just turning off your dang phone. There is not point of eating together if you’re going to be glued to a screen the entire time. If you can’t turn it off, then turn off the notifications, put it face down on the table, or heck, even put your phone somewhere far away from the dining table.
This is one I definitely have to work on. Sometimes Kevin will share something with me (be it sports related, video game related, or just something that I have absolutely no interest in) and what do I do? I don’t respond, I just kind of let that comment disappear into thin air. This completely kills any communication that could have taken place.
Even if it is something you are not interested in, make an effort to at least respond. Suddenly you’ll find that you have a lot more to talk about.
5. Text each other
No, I don’t mean the “can you pick this up on your way home”, or the “I can’t believe you left your socks under the bed again” text. I mean a short and sweet text letting them know that you miss them, or sending them a funny picture. You can find some cute printables on my other post “4 Ways to Show Your Spouse You Appreciate Them”. You can save the picture to your phone and just send it to let them know you’re thinking about them!
Communication is a two-way street. As excited as you are to talk and share with your spouse, remember to take a breath! Make sure that you’re asking yourselves these questions: Am I hogging the conversation? Am I finding a way to make the conversation about me? Am I budding in while they’re speaking?
If you answered yes, you’ve definitely got the talking part down. Time to work on some listening.
7. Make Time to Talk to Them
This here is another no brainer, but it is often the one that we disregard the most. Let’s say there is a TV show that you really want to watch, but you also have the opportunity to sit and talk to your spouse, normally, we tend to choose the TV show. If you have the option to talk or do something with your spouse, or do something else…. always choose your spouse.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to making time to talk. If it is something that is important to you… you’ll make it happen. To help you keep track of those 7 steps, here is a small 7 day calendar that you can use! Start with one simple thing each day, and then just keep adding until it becomes a habit!
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